“It was night again. The Waystone Inn lay in silence, and it was a silence of three parts.”
This is the first sentence of the Name of the Wind, a fantasy novel written by Patrick Rothfuss.
One of the most common tropes in a fantasy novel is the “Inn”, which is a tavern or a guild where medieval townspeople would gather for refreshments, socialising, and to find a job or a quest that would catapult them from the status of “measly elf” to “incredibly skilled and capable warrior king”, all in the length of just a story book! In fantasy games or stories, the line, “So you all meet at an inn” is the equivalent of starting your story with “Once upon a time”.
The first line of your composition should suck the reader into the rest of the essay immediately. One thing that stood out about the Inn in the sentence above is that it was quiet. Normally, an Inn should be lively, with bar fights, loud chatter, and people making merry after reuniting with their friends after an adventure in a distant land. However, the subversion of the reader’s expectations that the Inn should be merry is what the reader will be intrigued by, as they will want to find out exactly what has made the Inn so quiet, and what a “silence of three parts” means.
The point of an introduction is to “hook” the reader into wanting to read more simply out a natural curiosity to find out what will happen next. As such, students should strive to open their compositions in a similar way – although your teachers have to read your story, you should make them want to.
In this article, we will present some terrible, groan-worthy starting sentences and good alternatives you could use in your compositions instead.
1. Spelling Out Noises VS. Describing the Noise
Bad Opening
“Riiiiinnngggg!!!” The recess bell rang through the school at long last. Gary and the other students rushed down to the canteen, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
Here is what a hypothetical teacher (Teacher Groan) would say if they see this opening:
“I know what a recess bell sounds like. This onomatopoeia gives me no added or interesting context to the story. It’s just a sound. I’ve seen kids spell out sounds for alarm clocks, ticking clocks, fire alarms, and crying babies.”
Although these sounds could be important to the story as they could trigger the events in the plot, they need to be contextualised better. Spelling out the sound is a cop out from forcing the student to try and describe the noise, which would show off more of the student’s writing skills and vocabulary.
The following is an example of a good opening using the description of a sound:
Good Opening
The shrill tone of the recess bell ripped through the air, signalling the start of freedom from the classroom for one blessed period. Today was the day. Upon hearing the sound, Gary rushed down to the canteen with his friend.
In this opening, the student should instead describe the sound using adjectives and similes instead of spelling it out. The opening featuring the description of the sound is thus established as being central to the story’s plot, as it sets the entire story in motion and introduces the main character of the story.
2. Generic Weather Descriptions Vs. Character’s POV of the Weather
Bad Opening
“Fluffy magnolia white clouds drifted across the azure blue sky. It was a sunny Monday morning.”
Here is what a hypothetical teacher (Teacher Groan) would say if they see this opening:
“Kudos for naming colours, I guess? This opening sentence is as formulaic as you could get. When I was grading papers back in school, the teachers decided to not even credit such an opening. There is a difference between an opening sentence crafted by a student and one memorized by a student. This opening sentence can be inserted unchanged to any story, making it generic. There is no one magic opening line that sounds good in every story.”
Remember, your opening should not be generic as it will bore any potential reader of your story. Your opening needs to be relevant to your story, and should introduce the setting or the character. If the weather is so important to the story, it should not be a mere generic description of the sky, but it should be an event which is central to the plot in the first place, such as opening in the middle of a brewing storm which will form the central conflict of the story later on.
Good Opening
“I squinted up at the azure blue sky stretching from horizon to horizon. The infinite blue was marred only by the magnolia white clouds that drifted in the breeze. My brows furrowed deeper as I stood in the golden sunshine. How dare the weather be so perfect on what I was sure was going to be the worst day of my life? It felt like the universe was betraying me.”
In this opening, every sentence should count in the composition. The above opening sets the stage for the central plot of the story and is a foreshadowing for what is to come. As such, students should remember that whatever the opening is should move the story along creatively, and with good language. The teacher does not have the interest to read wishy-washy generic sentences thrown in for the sake of having an introduction. The main takeaway from these openings is to connect whatever you are describing in the opening with the story or characters.
3. Anything Starting with “One” VS. Using Almost Anything Else
Bad Opening
“One sunny day”/ “One Monday morning”/ “One day”
Here is what a hypothetical teacher (Teacher Groan) would say if they see this opening:
“I just… This is how I start stories told to three-year olds. Guys, if it’s good for a three-year old, it is NOT good for a thirty-three-year-old teacher who is probably too tired for this. The thing is, I know why these openings are used – They get you, the writer, into the story immediately. You get on with it.”
Good Opening
Any good opening will depend on what the story is about.
It is important for the student to call to mind the purpose and audience of the story. What a good opening should do is to impress your teacher enough to give you a good grade by showing your grasp of the English language and your skill in weaving a good plot. Opening with “Once upon a time” will sabotage any student’s efforts to be engaging and interesting. Remember – whatever your opening is, make sure that it connects in some shape or form to the story you are writing.
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